I am the first to make a joke of myself. The memes have declared 2016 is a dumpster-fire year. Not just for me, but for you too. None of us have completely escaped the flame's singe. So don't hold it against me if I don't reveal to you the complete truth. It can be too painful to look our situations in the eye. We're all there, been there, or pretending we are not there.
2016 I cannot speak too deeply of you.
A year ago I learned I would need to spend the first weeks of 2016 in the hospital. And that trip revealed that a few months later some doc would be slipping little wires into my heart. Which then led to the unpleasant experiments in medication dosing and interactions. Heart rates up and down, kidneys becoming sensitive to the chemicals, this body just so tired.
And this year, this year has been marked by grief and my world turned inside out in more ways than just my body. I lack sane words. So while I could write about-- which feels shitty-- I’ll stick with the visual. So 2016, in memoriam-- this is all I've got.
January - Enough said.
February - Spent more times within these walls than out.
March - slow healing, dear friends.
April - When kids remind you to stay hopeful
May - All the therapy a brain can muster - if we're real honest this has been years, but God was there a lot of therapy in May.
June - Changes
July - when support knows no distance
September - getting stronger
October - Watching the best friend get married--being able to support and care for those I love deeply.
November - set backs.
December - I have no images. Maybe one of me and the pup going on one of our many adventures into the leafless forests. The small sanity that she brings into the chaos. I am just so thankful that 2016 is ending and hopeful that 2017 will be better. Poems on forest fires-- here and here. A beautiful story on trees here.